Do not fear, for I have redeemed you I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

Wedding planning has been going great. everyone keeps saying that its going to be so stressful, and honestly that hasn't hit me yet. 

the only thing that seems to be difficult is figuring out school.

I have had this idea of what I wanted to be for a while, as in more than 8 years. and while pursuing and trying to figure out what next year will look like school with look like it was no longer a option.

So I am now in a position where I am changing my major... as in I wont be a teacher any more. 

Its safe to say that I have been VERY emotional. thank you Jesus for Brandon's sweet understanding. 

and while talking with sweet Erin, she had said :

Christian there are 3 HUGE life changing things that are going to happen,1. you are getting married. 2.you are planing a wedding 3. you are moving far away from your family. This is a very emotional time for you, you emotions are justified.

whew.

its okay to be a hot mess every once in a while ( how about every other week? that is what its been lately)

I have been on a emotional roller coaster with school. 

what should I do? 

should I take a semester off to think about it? 

what if I don't want to go back?

 what do I love to do? 

what is God teaching me?

where do I move from here?

I know that God is sovereign. and that He knows the plans that He has for me. The journey getting there is just hard. not setting my heart on something, because well New mexico has different standards in EVERYTHING. Or I don't have the right classes, or I don't want to be a math major, or, or, or. so many hoops. 

How true this song is right now.

I just want to be closer, closer to the person God wants me to be, closer to Jesus. Closer to loving like I'm suppose too. 

Prayers are greatly appreciated.

Every day I change my mind on what I want to do, its kinda funny, and emotionally draining.