This may be a little cheesy. but I love it. they are so stinkin cool.

Part 1:Loving myself

I know its been a while but I think that this may be the first time I have actually had a little while to just sit, and kinda be. so I decided I am LONG over do for a blog post.
So if you already didn't know but I am officially engaged. I don't think that it has really hit me yet.Yes everyone keeps saying "oh congrats!" and I cannot stop smiling... and Brandon and I are planning out little hearts out...but every time I look at my left hand I forget that there is a beautiful ring on my finger.
I just want to say that I am completely overwhelmed with so many different emotions
the first and most exciting is that I get to marry my favorite person in the world. and I still cannot believe that it is all happening. Brandon is by far one of the best things that has happened to me. For those of you that are not engaged...hold out. and hang on...there IS going to be the most amazing man in the world(who is far greater than you could EVER imagine) who is going to be head over heels for you, and someday ask for your hand in marriage.
I would like to say that it is by the grace of God that we are here, preparing our lives together.
It is not by our own doing that we are here, It is the will of God. and I am so thankful for that.
As I look back on my life over the past 2 years I am reminded of different emotions.
About 2 years ago I was working at Lost Canyon(Young Life camp in Williams AZ) and I was talking with a girl who has just gotten engaged. I was asking her how it happened,the date... and then I asked something that would truly begin to shape my journey over the next two years. I asked: "how did it feel to have someone ask you to spend the rest of your life with them? I couldn't even imagine someone asking me that." That was the start of a journey to salvage my self worth. You see I was really good at loving people...not so much myself. It was a journey of prayer, tears, and lots of figuring stuff out. Once I had become okay and trusted Jesus that I really do deserved to be loved that was He wants me to be  pursued... Two days later I met Brandon.
and thats where I journey began.
I am going to continue blogging on how our relationship grew from there. But there is just the beginning=)

So this is how sweet Brandon proposed to me on February 18th. It was easily the best day of my life. trust me, there will be a much more detailed post on this! thank you for everyone's love, and blessings.

oh Lord.

I am in Albuquerque and I am a little lost.

I am here to meet with an advisor at UNM and plan my life next few semesters of school.  

Do you ever go to places and feel like you are completely out of place and people can take 1 look at you and know that you don't belong?

yup.

thats how I feel.

maybe its the warm weather, and  I am wearing winter clothes.( I will be going to my car and changing) ...maybe its that I am not sure if I parked some where legal.Maybe its because everyone in here seems 10 times cooler than me. Maybe its that I have no flipping idea where I am. 

its a coffee shop.

thats all I know. 

And to be honest I HATE meeting with advisors. 

I am not sure why but there is just something that rubs me the wrong way.

I think they should have a get to know you session. ha- you know like "lets talk about what you love to do, what are your passions"

instead of...."have a seat, what classes do you want to take? you want to be a teacher? really?" 

gosh...

here we go. 

Jesus. you know me and my heart. guide me. and please help me not look like a fool. 

You're Beautiful

I am studying and some how get a little distracted.

things that made my heart leap:

the nice weather out. oh bike how I have missed you.

having lunch with sweet Kaley

The adorable old couple that are sitting not too far from me sharing a doughnut and reading books. (the husband walked over and said" happy Valentines day love. You are just as beautiful as the day I met you." awwwwwww. my heart is on the ground , I am looking forward to doing that when I am old and married. drinking coffee and sharing doughnuts and reading books together)

This video. 

& seeing a guy riding a bike with daisies in his backpack.

have a beautiful day.

tell someone that you think they are beautiful. and why you love them. It will be sure to put a smile on their face. 

Your grace is sufficient

I am sitting in a book store with the snow falling just a few feet away, and a delicious fruity hot tea at hand.

I may or may not of had a hard time driving this morning....

(I will say this, growing up with 0 snow makes snow THAT much more exciting...except when your sliding down the hill outside of your house and you can just muster out a quick prayer "Oh Jesus please don't let me hit that tree".)
But I really do love these cozy days.
I am currently taking a yoga class.... haha yes.
and it is so great! (minus the weird things that the teacher may say...) I have made it a goal of mine to let that time while I am sitting there, staring out those 2 huge glass walls that look out onto beautiful trees to have that be sweet Jesus time.
To really meditate on a verse, kind ignore what the teacher says(about  karma& letting go of it, and let your spirit guide you... ) Today the verse that I mediated on is this. ( I will most likely meditate on it in the next few classes too)
She is clothed in strength and dignity Proverbs 31:25
If you read all of proverbs 31 and your a woman....you WILL feel inspired.
Inspired to be like the wife that is talked about.
It says that she is worth more than rubies.
READ IT.
My teacher also told us to think of words while we inhale and exhale( if you have ever taken a yoga class alot of it is breathing....) She suggested some pretty hippie ones, being one with the earth... hah it is pretty funny.
But mine was Grace.
Inhale exhale....Grace.
It was a good morning thanks to Jesus.
and I could dig this.

By the grace of God I am what I am- 1 Corinthians 15:10

I am just a normal girl,
who has normal insecurities,
how has normal struggles,
who has normal problems,
who has normal arguments,
who has normal looks,
who has normal well everything.

I have been itching to blog for the past few days.
I am currently reading this fantastic book by Beth Moore.
It rocks me alot.
I would just like to say this books has done alot for me.
It has shown me areas where I need to grow, what I need to let go of and PRAISE JESUS
 I am not the only girl who feels insecure.
I have been highlighting, and underlining this book over and over again.
I would like to share just a few with you:
" In other words the more tender hearted we are the more vulnerable to insecurity we'll likely  be. Some people take things harder and deeper to heart than others. It's not a matter of weakness. It's a matter of personal sensitivity. "

"I'm afraid I will get bitten. God gave me this tender heart and though I want to give up my chronic insecurity I really do want to hang onto my heart. When I don't feel something It's like being dead" 


This one really shook me:

"Insecurity lives in constant terror of loss. Insecure people are always afraid that something or somebody is going to be taken from them"
Now if that doesn't smack me right in the face I am not sure what else will.
SO to put a title on my last post about fear that something was going to happen to Brandon.
Yup. Insecurity.
Not to say that I am completely free of insecurities, but I feel like I have come to the point where I am better than when I started.
The fear doesn't have a hold. ( as of right now...you know how those insecurities sneak up on us, tap us on the shoulder and pretend to be a comfort. bull crap.)

On another note.....

I am feeling like I could just sit and people watch for a few hours.

 I am wishing I could see this guys this weekend:

I am excited to see this concert with my brother.
I may or may not be obsessed with this blog.
I have a few ideas as to when I can use this fantastic photographer.
Oh I had a fantastic weekend snowboarding with these fantastic people.
I am SO thankful I found sweet girls who were at the same level as me(yay!)

and we had a fantastic time stopping when ever we wanted! and admiring this beautiful view!

I seriously cannot wait to lead in LA! Its going to be so great!