Arizona girl. boo-ya

It has been far too long since my last post.
I think that I may say that more often than not.
well I am currently a resident of New mexico. (kinda?)
Woah, that is a little strange to me.
I am living at Brandons dad's house until we get married ( why yes I am like a little child with no home.... all of my things are at Brandons house, and I am living here. I have had this feeling for the past month of so. And its going to be so stinkin nice to be able to cozy up in my own home with my sweet husband.)
But if I am being completely honest it just feels like I am visiting once again, and  I will soon be leaving to go back home.
 And I really don't know when it is going to hit me, that new mexico is my home...
For some reason now that I am not living in Arizona I am much more proud to call myself an Arizona girl.
I feel like I have this hug concrete wall holding back all of this water (my emotions) just waiting to crack and explode.
I have been waiting for this "moment" since Brandon and I got engaged, and it still hasn't hit me.
I have had a few moments(both of which were spent with my sweet mama crying, telling her my fears and excitement in being a wife, moving, and all of this change) but it just feels like a tiny leak of water in what I expect to come. It is a little scary to me that my normal support system, and the people I usually run to when this happens are 8 hours away. frik.
Some times I have these moment of  "oh gosh, did I loose my soft hard? is it all hardened up...have I lost my ability to cry?" which then I feel like God does a little giggle, and says "oh sweet girl..don't you worry" then a few short hours later I am crying about something.
Right now I feel like I have a very large list of things to do in a pretty short time period.
Our house currently looks like a war zone, dishes every where mud on the floor from Cash( our dog) and boxes every where. and I literally mean everywhere. including the bathroom, on the beds, and ALL over the living room. A friend came over today and there wasn't any where to sit in the house... Lame?
Its time to start un-packing.
so far this is what I have done, opened a box looked at whats inside and folded it back up and pushed it to the side.
this has gotten me no where.
well it just leads to more crap every where.
I will be blogging more frequently, I feel like it a little way to help me make sense of all of this change, and update the dear ones I love on how all of this transition is going.