not so great at goodbyes...

I am anxiously awaiting the arrival of the wedding invitations. I have been checking the ups tracking information for the past hour, hoping that it will say "delivered" but instead it just sat "out for delivery" since 5 am.
I should be studying... I have been for the past hour or so, and then I got sucked into stumble upon, and found so many glorious DIY ideas. and then I just threw studying to the wind.
I only have 7 days left living in Flagstaff. and that to me is very strange. I know that things are going to change. so much is going to change...for starters in less than 2 months I will be married. and I am SO thankful that the Lord has blessed Brandon and I to this point where we will become one.
But I will say this, its going to be a emotional process.
Already the water works are coming. and its not slowly, just all at once this overwhelming feeling will hit me and the tears start coming.
For starters I was going on a wonderful random walk with Kaley (we were going to go scope out the furniture that our neighbors threw out...you find some pretty sweet things) and it turned into a pretty long walk. Which is always needed. Kaley and I are pretty much the same person... people ask if were sister almost every time we go some where together. and its fantastic...because she is a babe!
but we are walking just talking like we always do. and it suddenly hits me that this may be one of the last times we go on a random walk. this may be the last time where I get the much needed love and encouragement that I need, and hear the exact words that I need to hear from her. She knows me well, and can always call me out. which is so great.
then I am wanting to tell her how thankful I am for her.
Instead I am just blubbering, with tears running down my face, and the ugly chin thing that happens when you cry really hard. and all I can get out is " i just want you to know that I really love you." pft. lameo.
what I really want to say is this:
thank you for all of the late night talks. The nights when all I want to do is curl up in a ball and flip off the world, thanks for being the one that lays next to me and cries.and says that its okay to to be upset. and my feelings are justified. Thanks for being the one who is always there to talk me through things when Brandon and I got into an argument. Thank you for being Jesus to me when I needed it most. thanks for loving me, and thanks for being who you are. I am thankful for the last year, and the precious time we got to spend together. it makes me happy that in this past year we have only gone without talking for 5 days. I love the random moments...us trying to lay in a hammock together, eating way to much junk food, and smoking our girly cigars when sometimes we just need to have one of those nights. Where we are brutally honest and the other doesn't think any less of them. I am glad that I can tell you all the crap that I am really feeling and you don't think less of me for some things I say. My heart is sad to think that in less than a week I wont be able to walk into your room with tears in my eyes and just dump all of the crap thats going on, and just have you sit in the bathroom while we hash through the stuff.and even when the really exciting things happen I wont be able to give you a big hug.  As I write this I am trying to keep my crap together, because I am well aware that I look like a fool sitting in a coffee shop while there are tears rolling down my face. but I am beyond the point of caring.
This past year wouldn't have been the same without you. I love you so dearly. and I am thankful for Jesus putting us together, in our house, and randomly at Woodleaf.
I think that it would be okay if our last departure would be from a bathroom crying. considering thats where it all began.
love you sweet Kaley.